Pregnant

Finally, the wait to conceive is over. So what’s next? Another 40 weeks wait to see your precious baby. The worry is now transferred to the process of getting through smoothly without any hiccups. I believe most people who suffered from a miscarriage would agree that the same question constantly going through our mind is, will it happen again? Unfortunately, there won’t be answer till the end of your pregnancy journey.

With every step, nervousness and anxiousness creeps in exponentially..but the gratefulness of overcoming milestones was unexplained and irreplaceable too. Everyday became a fight to relax and carry on daily activities as normally as you could.

It eventually morphed into a training period for me, where my patience, limits and how I handled my daily affairs through pregnancy were tested. It also served as a training ground for us before we becomes parents. After all, the real test comes after your baby is born. Then again, now as time ticked, you count day by day, week by week.

My miscarriages always end in second trimester, so you can imagine how I felt as it get near. After the first trimester period, when everything started to get real, when your body start to see the more obvious sign. That is also when you started to feel the baby movement. As subtle as it may be, still we are happy to feel their movements. Then again, we start to worry that if we bond too much with them, what if we lose them again? How to cope with it again? Having said that, I think most people will agree as well, every pregnancy is different just as every child is different too.

Despite everything had happen previously, for me, I still wanted to bond with them. After all, they were all my babies, alive or in heaven. Why let past fears, unhappiness stopped you from marching forward. The fact that you are pregnant again shows that you have triumphant against all odds. So why not embrace yourself, embrace the new life that you are working toward to?

With every milestone achieved, give yourself a pat to say well done and go further. For me, I had never went into the third trimester. As elated as I was, I also knew quickly that it is becoming real. We are going to be parents soon! With that, it also mean a new beginning, a new start. Anytime will be the time, with a new realisation, also come fear, anticipation and excitement. Will I do it well, can I do it, only time will tell…